This week’s edition of links comes a bit early, since I expect to be cut off from civilization all weekend, doing the final edits on my manuscript. Read on for news on Apple, Batman, realistic lightsabers, the obligatory vampires, Steampunk Optimus Prime, and more!
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Previously, on True Blood

Vampire Bill: Suckhy! I will save you my darling!

Vampire Pam: She’s not here.

Vampire Bill: But she is! I can feel her fear drawing me here!

Vampire Pam: Oh, that. She’s… afraid… of you! Yeah, that’s it. She’s terrified you’re going to interrupt her passionate, primal sexytime with Eric.

Vampire Bill: Fangs!

Vampire Pam: Vampire mace!

Vampire Bill: Sadface!

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This week’s collection of links brings you a new Vampire Diaries trailer, the award for Sexiest Vampire, the science of zombie outbreaks, armored felines, the bike-sharing program that will lead to the One World Government, Batman, and more!

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One thing about living in Santa Carla I never could stomach; all the damn vampires.

Actually, that’s not true. I love all the damn vampires. I wouldn’t spend so much time writing about them if I didn’t.

We’re in living in a vampire heyday; everywhere you look, an undead creature of the night is slipping out of the shadows to sparkle bare their fangs at you. They’re in television, movies, and books… there’s really never been a better time to be a fan of the Children of the Night.

But which vampires are the best of the pop-culture crop? Let’s investigate.

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Previously, on True Blood

Sookie Stackhouse: I’m a fairy? How fucking lame.

Thomas: Is amazed that the writers had enough sense to put the audience’s words into Sookie’s mouth. Well done, show, well done.

Vampire Bill: Well they’re also called Fae and Little People and Old People and Aliens and-

Thomas: Shut up, Bill. Sookie was right. This is fucking lame.

Vampire Bill: Oh, and I should probably mention that Fae have the tastiest blood that ever was tasted, and you’ve got about as much chance as a Twinkie at Overeaters Anonymous. (Except he said it all formal and accent-ey.)

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This Week on the Web brings us news on Deadpool and Green Lantern, Batman, vampires, ignorant preachers, and more!
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Previously, on True Blood

Eric Northman: Holy shit everything is fucked oh Odin we are so fucked they’re going to have to invent a new word to describe how fucking fucked we are! Fuck!

Vampire Pam: What, did you finally realize Alan Ball is Team Bill!

Eric Northman: No, I murdered the Vampire King of Louisiana’s Vampire Boyfriend.

Vampire Pam: …goddammit. Hey, Methey the Coked Out Waitress! We need to crash at your place for a while!

Methey the Coked Out Waitress: Why, because of the Vampire Feds in the lobby?

Eric Northman and Vampire Pam: Sadface.

Nan Flanagan, Spokesvampire: Cuff ‘im, boys!

Eric Northman: Sadderface.

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The Trailer: Stallone. Statham. Li.

The Audience: Wow.

The Trailer: Lundgren. Couture. Austin.

The Audience: God damn.

The Trailer: Crews. Rourke.

The Audience: Holy shit.

The Trailer: With uncredited cameos by Willis…

The Audience: Jesus effing Christ.

The Trailer: And Schwarzenegger.

The Audience: Mangasm.

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This Week on the Web brings you vampires, annoying movie trends, hot girls with dry erase boards, a bevy of cute animals, career prospects for college grads, the Queerpocalypse, and more!

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