This week’s edition of links comes a bit early, since I expect to be cut off from civilization all weekend, doing the final edits on my manuscript. Read on for news on Apple, Batman, realistic lightsabers, the obligatory vampires, Steampunk Optimus Prime, and more!
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Previously, on True Blood

Vampire Bill: Suckhy! I will save you my darling!

Vampire Pam: She’s not here.

Vampire Bill: But she is! I can feel her fear drawing me here!

Vampire Pam: Oh, that. She’s… afraid… of you! Yeah, that’s it. She’s terrified you’re going to interrupt her passionate, primal sexytime with Eric.

Vampire Bill: Fangs!

Vampire Pam: Vampire mace!

Vampire Bill: Sadface!

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Previously, on True Blood

Sookie Stackhouse: I’m a fairy? How fucking lame.

Thomas: Is amazed that the writers had enough sense to put the audience’s words into Sookie’s mouth. Well done, show, well done.

Vampire Bill: Well they’re also called Fae and Little People and Old People and Aliens and-

Thomas: Shut up, Bill. Sookie was right. This is fucking lame.

Vampire Bill: Oh, and I should probably mention that Fae have the tastiest blood that ever was tasted, and you’ve got about as much chance as a Twinkie at Overeaters Anonymous. (Except he said it all formal and accent-ey.)

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This Week on the Web brings us news on Deadpool and Green Lantern, Batman, vampires, ignorant preachers, and more!
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Previously, on True Blood

Eric Northman: Holy shit everything is fucked oh Odin we are so fucked they’re going to have to invent a new word to describe how fucking fucked we are! Fuck!

Vampire Pam: What, did you finally realize Alan Ball is Team Bill!

Eric Northman: No, I murdered the Vampire King of Louisiana’s Vampire Boyfriend.

Vampire Pam: …goddammit. Hey, Methey the Coked Out Waitress! We need to crash at your place for a while!

Methey the Coked Out Waitress: Why, because of the Vampire Feds in the lobby?

Eric Northman and Vampire Pam: Sadface.

Nan Flanagan, Spokesvampire: Cuff ‘im, boys!

Eric Northman: Sadderface.

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This Week on the Web brings you vampires, annoying movie trends, hot girls with dry erase boards, a bevy of cute animals, career prospects for college grads, the Queerpocalypse, and more!

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Previously, on True Blood

Vampire Bill: Sookie! My darling love!

Sookie Stackhouse: Freaks right out.

Alcide Herveaux: Grrr!

Vampire Bill: Back off!

Alcide Herveaux: I don’t take orders from vamps!

Thomas: I hate to interrupt, but didn’t you get dragged into all of this because Eric Northman told you to help Sookie?

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30 Days of Night: Dark Days: (video) A direct-to-DVD sequel to that other vampire movie, which actually looks pretty good. (via io9)

Another Sucker Punch Image: The killer mech has a pink bunny rabbit painted on the face. This movie keeps getting more and more awesome. Oh, and it’s a toy, too.

Another Inception Infographic: Nifty, though I’mnot sure it’s right about where Cobb goes to limbo. Eh, whatevs. (via The Daily What)

Six Evil Corporations with Terrible Business Plans Seriously, how does Umbrella plan to make a profit?

Shift By Tim Kring: (video) I love the idea of book trailers. This novel, from the creator of Heroes, seems to tell a Manchurian Candidate style story about the assassination of JFK. (via io9)

Rambo fact Sheet: Including such vital information as “Number of Kills by Rambo with Shirt On” and “Number of Kills by Rambo with Shirt Off”. (via Matt Burdell)

Arnold is 63: And here are 63 facts about The Austrian Oak.

Metroid: Other M Gameplay Footage: (video) A new side-scrolling Metroid for the Wii? Yes please.

Video Game Demakes: A “demake” is when a game is remade for a previous-generation console. Nostalgia rears its ugly head once more. (And it’s awesome.)

Dancer v. Ice Cream Truck: “I’m so cool, I’m gonna dance in the street! Watch the cars swerve around me!” “Hey, look out for that…” (via Matt Burdell and Jon Nightingale) (local cache)

Aimbot!: (video) What life would be like if aimbots were real. (via The Daily What)

The Cracked Guide to Fonts: This article may contain the only legitimate use of Papyrus and Comic Sans.

An Illustrated Guide to Facial Hair: Turns out I’ve been wearing a Circle Beard, not a Goatee, for the last decade or so. Who knew?

What Everyone Knows: The James Randi Educational Foundation would like to point out an important fact: we’re probably wrong.

Automatic Image Deblurring: a Microsoft research team has developed a way to automatically correct the “shaky-cam” effect you often see on hand-held and camera phones. The first clear image of Bigfoot is certain to follow. (via Slashdot)

Vulcan Mind Melds are Sorta Possible: If you reeeeeeeealy love the other person. (via io9)

Court Overturns California Ban on Gay Marriage: I want to do the Happy Dance of Screw You, Bigots, but I’m honestly worried about what the Supreme Court will do when they get their hands on this.

Stephen Colbert on The Obama Diaries: Conservative talk show host Laura Ingraham wrote a book called The Obama Diaries, which purport to be written by Obama himself. Stephen Colbert pretty much calls her an idiot and a racist to her face, and I fall in love with yet another man. Sorry, Eric. (via Blag Hag)

The Modesty Survey: Did you know that showing a bra strap, even unintentionally, is a stumbling block to young Christian men? Well now you do. (via Pharyngula)